Zoey Michelle: Birth Story
I went arrived at the hospital at about 6 pm Friday evening. I came with Katie, thinking that this would be another come in, get evaluated and leave situation. The first heart rate they got from me was high. They took all of my other symptoms into account (protein in urine, bad edema, blurred vision, seeing 'glitter') and told me that I had a 75% chance of being admitted and put me in a labor and delivery room. Within the hour, I was on my way to giving birth to Zoey.
As I figured, my body was still not even kind of dilated. They gave me drugs to try to push that along and at about 3 am Saturday, my water broke. At the time I didn't know it, but that wasn't supposed to happen and so things had to be pushed forward quickly. They started my dose of pitocin (I was already on Magnesium and saline solution) and I became quite loopy. My body did not react well to the pitocin/magnesium. I felt like I was in Alice and Wonderland, in some super surreal place. My body didn't know what to do with the drugs and I wasn't as capable as I would have liked to be to answer many of the doctors questions.
I hadn't slept well the night before. I remember telling Jon that we'd catch up on sleep over the weekend and that I was sorry I had kept him up so much. I think I slept a total of three hours Thursday night. Friday, when I was admitted into the hospital, they kept losing Zoey's heart rate (because I would move around and my amniotic fluid was all in the front over where they normally catch the heart rate). The nurses and doctors would wake me up and try tirelessly to find her only for me to try to fall asleep, move, and lose her again. I attempted to sleep, but didn't get much.
I asked for morphine to ease the pain, I didn't want an epidural, but I needed something to get me through the contractions so I could sleep. The morphine worked well. Jon and I would talk and I would doze off and on. I kept trying to eat a popsicle and it would almost fall as I fell asleep eating it. One time, it did fall and looked like I had bled all over the sheets. Whoops. I had another two rounds of morphine, hoping that they would ease the pain enough to sleep so I could go through the birth naturally. The last round of morphine I noticed wasn't nearly as effective and I was feeling a lot of pain. I was only dilated at a 5 and things weren't progressing. I was in tears from the pain and knew I would have to cave, have to give up my dream of a natural childbirth because the pitocin was just too strong.
I asked for the epidural and they told me I would have to wait 30 minutes for the morphine to wear off a little. I was nervous, I knew I was in so much pain I was sure I wouldn't be able to do it. Finally, as the contractions were becoming unbearable, they gave me the epidural. It wasn't at all what I expected. It was a sweet relief from the storm. It didn't seem to affect Zoey and actually sped up my labor when I thought it would only slow it down. The epidural made me more alert and aware of my surroundings and I knew I would be able to do it!
I waited a bit for our photographer to come and take some pictures for the birth. She got there at about midnight and I asked them how much longer they thought the labor would be. They said that it was on my timetable now, and when I felt the desire to push, it was probably going to be the right time. I said I think I'm ready and they got me in position and I pushed. The resident said he could see her hair and we knew it was time.
A whole crew of people came in to welcome Zoey. The doctor, a couple of residents, nurses and a team of NICU staff in case something went wrong since she was in the birth canal 22 hours after my water broke. They were all waiting on my pushes. At first, it felt liberating. I felt like it was something I could do and was excited to start pushing her head out. About half-way through, I was terrified. Everyone was so encouraging, telling me that they could see the progress but I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to keep going. I didn't have the energy anymore and thought she would be stuck halfway between worlds forever. It was a very painful place to be and I finally tried my hardest and they said she was almost out, I could push with smaller pushes. I had no idea what that meant anymore and they kept telling me she was almost out and then she was there, my beautiful baby girl.
They quickly (I mean quickly, maybe for 5 seconds?) put her on my chest and then gave her to the NICU team. They started working on her and all I wanted to do was be with her, see how beautiful she was, see the hair everyone had been talking about for days. I was stuck on that stupid bed and they kept massaging my uterus and trying to get me to deliver the placenta and stitch me up but I kept saying Can I have her? Please bring her to me. Jon did exactly as I asked and followed her everywhere I couldn't, making sure she was fine. They couldn't get an IV in her and popped a couple of veins and finally told us they would have to take her to a specialized nurse/doctor who could get the IV in for us. She was gone for some painfully long time.
Jon and I sat restlessly waiting to go into our room, to see our daughter. I kept making him go back and forth from the NICU to see the progress and see how long it would be until I could see my baby girl. Finally, we were able to go to the nursery upstairs and get her. I couldn't stop staring at her. She was absolutely beautiful. She was the perfect mix of Jon and I and everything melted away. I was still completely out of it, dizzy and had blurred vision but I had my baby. I stayed up staring at her for hours, watching her move and breathe and thought about how blessed I am.
As I figured, my body was still not even kind of dilated. They gave me drugs to try to push that along and at about 3 am Saturday, my water broke. At the time I didn't know it, but that wasn't supposed to happen and so things had to be pushed forward quickly. They started my dose of pitocin (I was already on Magnesium and saline solution) and I became quite loopy. My body did not react well to the pitocin/magnesium. I felt like I was in Alice and Wonderland, in some super surreal place. My body didn't know what to do with the drugs and I wasn't as capable as I would have liked to be to answer many of the doctors questions.
I hadn't slept well the night before. I remember telling Jon that we'd catch up on sleep over the weekend and that I was sorry I had kept him up so much. I think I slept a total of three hours Thursday night. Friday, when I was admitted into the hospital, they kept losing Zoey's heart rate (because I would move around and my amniotic fluid was all in the front over where they normally catch the heart rate). The nurses and doctors would wake me up and try tirelessly to find her only for me to try to fall asleep, move, and lose her again. I attempted to sleep, but didn't get much.
I asked for morphine to ease the pain, I didn't want an epidural, but I needed something to get me through the contractions so I could sleep. The morphine worked well. Jon and I would talk and I would doze off and on. I kept trying to eat a popsicle and it would almost fall as I fell asleep eating it. One time, it did fall and looked like I had bled all over the sheets. Whoops. I had another two rounds of morphine, hoping that they would ease the pain enough to sleep so I could go through the birth naturally. The last round of morphine I noticed wasn't nearly as effective and I was feeling a lot of pain. I was only dilated at a 5 and things weren't progressing. I was in tears from the pain and knew I would have to cave, have to give up my dream of a natural childbirth because the pitocin was just too strong.
I asked for the epidural and they told me I would have to wait 30 minutes for the morphine to wear off a little. I was nervous, I knew I was in so much pain I was sure I wouldn't be able to do it. Finally, as the contractions were becoming unbearable, they gave me the epidural. It wasn't at all what I expected. It was a sweet relief from the storm. It didn't seem to affect Zoey and actually sped up my labor when I thought it would only slow it down. The epidural made me more alert and aware of my surroundings and I knew I would be able to do it!
I waited a bit for our photographer to come and take some pictures for the birth. She got there at about midnight and I asked them how much longer they thought the labor would be. They said that it was on my timetable now, and when I felt the desire to push, it was probably going to be the right time. I said I think I'm ready and they got me in position and I pushed. The resident said he could see her hair and we knew it was time.
A whole crew of people came in to welcome Zoey. The doctor, a couple of residents, nurses and a team of NICU staff in case something went wrong since she was in the birth canal 22 hours after my water broke. They were all waiting on my pushes. At first, it felt liberating. I felt like it was something I could do and was excited to start pushing her head out. About half-way through, I was terrified. Everyone was so encouraging, telling me that they could see the progress but I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to keep going. I didn't have the energy anymore and thought she would be stuck halfway between worlds forever. It was a very painful place to be and I finally tried my hardest and they said she was almost out, I could push with smaller pushes. I had no idea what that meant anymore and they kept telling me she was almost out and then she was there, my beautiful baby girl.
They quickly (I mean quickly, maybe for 5 seconds?) put her on my chest and then gave her to the NICU team. They started working on her and all I wanted to do was be with her, see how beautiful she was, see the hair everyone had been talking about for days. I was stuck on that stupid bed and they kept massaging my uterus and trying to get me to deliver the placenta and stitch me up but I kept saying Can I have her? Please bring her to me. Jon did exactly as I asked and followed her everywhere I couldn't, making sure she was fine. They couldn't get an IV in her and popped a couple of veins and finally told us they would have to take her to a specialized nurse/doctor who could get the IV in for us. She was gone for some painfully long time.
Jon and I sat restlessly waiting to go into our room, to see our daughter. I kept making him go back and forth from the NICU to see the progress and see how long it would be until I could see my baby girl. Finally, we were able to go to the nursery upstairs and get her. I couldn't stop staring at her. She was absolutely beautiful. She was the perfect mix of Jon and I and everything melted away. I was still completely out of it, dizzy and had blurred vision but I had my baby. I stayed up staring at her for hours, watching her move and breathe and thought about how blessed I am.
She was so alert from the very beginning.
He's so gentle. So afraid of hurting her.
But he is so in love. He changed every diaper, slept on an uncomfortable couch and was with me for every minute of it all.
Her little IV breaks my heart, but it made sure that she was healthy and I am so glad she is.
Learning how to be "dad"
Trying to get a picture of one of her adorable smiles. I love that she smiled from the beginning too.
She's so peaceful
I absolutely adore every minute I get to spend cuddling with Zoey.
Congratulations!!! She is so adorable! I am in Arkansas helping Kait and nick since she just had her baby last Friday. All of you have such cute babies :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Pam! We're so in love! Sounds like you're having fun with Kait and Nick! Enjoy your baby cuddle time!
ReplyDelete